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The traditional colours and styles and actual “femininity” associated with a woman’s wardrobe feel as antiquated as the ideas that you can’t be an accomplished woman without marriage or children. (I thank my mom dearly for showing me how.) It’s quite another to blaze a path that few even see, let alone walk, just yet.But truth be told, there's never been a better time to be an “evolutionary woman.” We are more accepting of self-expression than ever before.(I know, she wears underwear most of the movie, but you get my point.) For me, that dress simply reinforces that I may not act my age, but I can’t avoid ageing.I can make choices that allow me connections with people younger than myself, but I am no longer young.It reflects the television persona I gave up a long time ago.
Even if we’re past bearing children, are we meant to look as if we still can?Age is part of time, and does in fact change things.It isn’t simply that I no longer play by the gender rulebook, it’s that the rules suddenly feel stacked against me. There are moments when this unconventional approach to ageing feels freeing, and I can romanticise it. My younger friends haven’t had to make these life choices yet. But for all my freedom, as I age, I’m not always sure where or with whom I belong. And like anything new, the unknown can feel a bit scary. I get joy from work, and that probably keeps me somewhat youthful in disposition. It wasn’t this “decision” written in stone that I wouldn’t get married or have kids. What has happened is I’ve had to let go of the age when all things were possible (32) and started to look at what is (47).
And because of this, sometimes people (myself included) find it hard to measure my value without the traditional milestones of a life lived or a collection of identifiable Cliffs Notes at the ready. People seemingly want to know more about me, because I haven’t played by conventional social rules. That was cute when I was the precocious youngest woman in the room. But my point is that I am usually the oldest in the room these days. I simply don’t have as much in common with friends my age who got married and had kids. I am very proud of my career and all that I’ve accomplished.You can invite me over to dinner parties, even when it’s just married couples. I am the first generation of this kind of woman: the kind of woman whose traditions and values are being written right now.