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Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after and we tell each other everything. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... Bullwinkle Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. We're VERY close Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk. Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. 01/15/05 - terry from bat cave: how are you 01/14/05 - brittany from humble: Hey its _____. Who are u again....arent you the one that...(mad voice) NEVERMIND JUST LEAVE A DAMN MESSAGE (mummbling ) Beep 01/13/05 - nadine v,21 from melbourne-australia: there's a priest staying over,leave a message as i don't want him to hear me swear to yoi infront of him! 01/04/05 - ERIN from CANADA: Hi, you've reached the sucide hotline, please hold on the line and I'll get some one for you! 12/28/04 - ME from This world: you have reached______ leave your name, number, address, S. #, your credit card number, weight, eye color, height, Sex, date of Birth, and I will get back to you if you answer every one of those questions 12/26/04 - Xantax from Jupiter: Nate ATKINS YOU STUPID FUCK THAT SUCKED 12/24/04 - Sheila & Sarah from here or there: Speak worm! ~ 12/22/04 - k-dot from california: this is you know who, i'm not you know where, but if you leave your you know what, i'll get back to you who knows when 12/19/04 - Brittany from VA: Hey this is _____, I cant come to the phone now cause i am at Wal MArt riding the pink pony so leave me a message and i will call u back when i run out of quarters 12/17/04 - jolly green giant from my house: dude, sorry *busy* leave one and i'll get back to you if i feel like it 12/17/04 - samantha from houston: you've got me, now you know what to do. You're mission, should you choose to accept it, it to leave your name, number, and a brief message after the beep. how are u ,, i want u to leave a message after the beep and ___ will get back to u at anytime of the day , ok , ok CHoa 12/07/04 - (in a sweedin voice) from Sweedin: Hello, my name is _____, ya! I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. 12/01/04 - rahul from YO MOMMA: WHO DA FUKK IS THIS? leave me a message 11/15/04 - Samber from Hell, Mexico: Hey, this is the devil speaking.. 11/13/04 - Ashley from Wa, USA: Hi, you've reached___, the greatest psychic in the world. : im probley here right now but im too busy doin bong hits, eating snacks, and playing video games to answer the phone 11/09/04 - Cassie Kurtz from Traverse City, MI: Hey guys. Were not here at the moment, but you know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it...
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone" Hello. Here comes the beep, how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding. You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD! If this is Ross Perot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, or Princess Di, just leave your VISA number and expiration date, and we will definitely get back to you! (or) (Rod Serling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. (Theme music and voice from Alfred Hitchcock Presents:) Good evening.If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible. You know what I hate about answering machine messages? I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Due to the breakdown in the 452nd truce, the inhabitants of village 286-3589 are cowering in their bomb shelters. And speaking of things that are not free, we now have this word from our sponsor... If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. Drawling granny voice: Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you... Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. Thank you for phoning the Save the Sasquatch Hotline. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange... I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me... (Demented, screechy voice; occasional background screams:) Hello. (Raspy gasp.) We can't come to the phone right now because we're making a couple of adjustments. I was changing my name to protect my innocence when I got a call about a 411. However, if you leave your name, number, and a message, any survivors will get back to you when the 453rd truce begins. (To scare off annoying liberals:) Hello, and thank you for calling the Bush in 50 Campaign. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number.In 1971, Phone Mate introduced one of the first commercially viable answering machines, the Model 400.
It weighed 10 pounds and held 20 messages on a reel-to-reel tape.
This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. Want to hear how vulnerable your answering machine or voicemail is to being hacked? If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can. You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center. Leave a name and number and IF we decide to resurrect him, he'll call you back. (Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary telephone answering device... (Sinister organ music:) Hello, you have reached the Brown residence. I'm sorry, but Steve can't come to the phone now, as he's quite tied up.